i just had dream about you. it was a dream that wasn’t a nightmare or anything else, it was a nice dream. a dream that made me go back to memory lane. all those good times we had. and i just….just..miss you. even though, you see me happy and enjoying life now, there is a part of me that still cares for you and misses you. i wish i can go back in time a relive it but i don’t have that kind of power. no matter what we’ve been through, even though you hurt me many times, just know… i love you. 
i wish i can tell you that myself but time like this its ‘complicated’.

I still don’t get it. Holy Supper has passed but I still keep getting rumors that is going on about me. I mean is it wrong that I hang with the guys more than the girls? is it wrong to ride with a person that is a boy? Tell me. There is no law or a verse in the bible that I can not do that just because I’m a girl. We are members in the Church of Christ, we are suppose to love one another. NOT have hatred or anger with other members. Even when i talked to anthony last night after LEM, even he said, “I thought you guys are good and not backstabbing one another. I don’t understand why they do that.” and he’s true. After that, i went inside the chapel and then went to the bathroom crying, i feel that i wanted to kill myself or jump off the roof because they don’t want to stop talking about me and i can’t take it anymore. They don’t understand what I been through. They don’t even know who I really am or what I’m capable in doing. And so, i prayed and prayed. Bursting out my tears. Asking for His help. But i mean whoever that is talking about me, it is their faults and problems, not mine. Because i didn’t do anything wrong. I don’t know who is doing this but i don’t freaking care because I’m just going to ignore and continue living myself how it is. If you have a problem THEN TALK TO ME NOT SPREAD FREAKING RUMORS.  Because God wouldn’t do that to you, He will help you in your needs, troubles, and trials BUT NOT BACKSTAB YOU. 

And to those people that think I am isolating myself from you guys. I AM NOT. REPEAT. I AM NOT! Its just hard to talk to you guys when you guys leave to eat with no invite or circle me out of the group. 

whoever reading this, you have a problem then tell me NOW. if you do and you don’t want to tell me then KEEP IT TO YOURSELF, DONT GO AND TELL OTHER PEOPLE. 

to let out my feelings again…

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